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Submitted on
March 8, 2011
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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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THE STARCATCHER
By Pedro Oliveira


Within:
"I feel them all around me
As if they're looking for me
I'm sure they're protecting me
You're all so close to me
And don't you never ever leave me!"

                   ~*~

Introduction:
Every night before I fall asleep
I look out of my window and always see
A shadow sitting in the moon
With a fishing rod and wizard hat
I swear he is catching the stars
Why would someone do that?

                   ~*~

I: DREAM

Hey, you with the the fishing rod and wizard hat!
Tell me what are those stars you're looking at!

"They are wishes and dreams
They are hopes and fears
From the children, who before going to sleep
Look at the sky and make a wish
Hoping that tomorrow
Won't be full of sorrow."

Hey, you who sits on the moon!
Why are you catching the stars? Are you a loon?

"Those stars full of dreams and wishes
I catch them like fishes!
So I can take them to the angels
Who will make them come true
Just like the children wanted to."

                   ~*~

II: WISH

"I've been catching stars since forever.
They have many sizes, shapes and forms...
Do you want me to catch yours?"

Hey, you who are awake when others sleep!
Can you teach me how to make a wish?

"Close your eyes and listen to your heart
It will tell you what you feel
And the wish you want to be fulfilled."

                   ~*~

III: HOPE

Hey, you who carries the wishes!
How do you give them to the angels?

"Shortly before the sun is born
An angel comes from above.
I give him the shining stars
And they fly above the clouds.

What happens next I do not know
But I have faith in them.
There they keep our souls...
and I'm sure our wishes are there too.

Do you believe it too?"

                   ~*~
                    THE END
                   ~*~






Epilogue:

"Starless world, starless world.
Hey, where have you gone?
It seems there are no souls...
Where did yours go?"

THE STARCATCHER.


by Pedro Oliveira a.ka. *zungzwang

A story about stars, wishes, moon and you.




Artwork:


All rights reserved.
(c) Pedro Oliveira
Story and Artwork by me.


:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz: :icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:


THANK YOU =bowie-loon123 :heart: and ~OuroborosA :love: for the GREAT help with the grammar and everything else! I really really appreciate it.

Visit my Facebook Page!

Add a Comment:
 
:iconastrikos:
requested from Share Art+

My my. This is a lovely deviation.

Visionality

Well, this is quite original, but some of the similies/metaphors/ and other poetic devices have been used before. Yet, I feel like you put your own unique spin on this piece.

I think your vision is nice. It reflects mostly on your idea, yet some of your vision is a bit 'jumpy'.

Technique

For the most part, your rhyme stucture is nice. yet, I have a few minor suggestions. For one, in the first stanza the ending of me is a bit too repetitive.

For stanzas two and three, you restate wizard hat to get your poem to rhyme, which is a bit repetitive. You also restate sleep many times, and catching the stars. the latter does make more sense though. I think you should work on trying to keep the rhyme, while mixing up some words. repeating a word so it still rhymes in a slightly different way really takes off the impact.

Still, it's a very touching poem.

Your art, though, matches your poem beautifully and has wonderful colors and the perfect style to complement.

Impact

Very sweet and touching. Yet, is slightly held back from repetitive word use and phrasing. (this does not include the star wisher/ catcher of stars. That's a very nice touch)

+
Overall, a very nice poem. Polished and touching. very nicely done!~
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconrouge-fox:
Rouge-Fox Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Student Writer
This is a beautiful piece my friend, it's quite a darling little bedtime story to send your kids to sleep on.
Reply
:iconnekomarik:
NekoMarik Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:rose::orange::butterfly: This has been featured at [link]! :rose::orange::butterfly:
Reply
:iconexplosivesplatter:
ExplosiveSplatter Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow. Such a beautiful piece. Instant :+fav:
Reply
:iconzungzwang:
zungzwang Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much! i'm really glad you enjoyed this little story. :heart:
Reply
:iconexplosivesplatter:
ExplosiveSplatter Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:dance: Np
Reply
:iconzungzwang:
zungzwang Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:glomp:
Reply
:icondeviouswitch:
DeviousWitch Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really love this story and poem of yours, it's wonderful, i'm sure children would love to read this (well, people every age actually, especially the dreamy persons :) ) =D
Well-written poem, i love the rhyme :)
Reply
:iconzungzwang:
zungzwang Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for your always kind words. :heart: I truly appreciate all of your comments. :tighthug:
Reply
:icondeviouswitch:
DeviousWitch Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem!^^ :iconkittyglompplz:
Reply
:iconerazona:
Erazona Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
What a lovely piece of art! Great job with this!
Reply
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